Seeking Happiness

Seeking Happiness

I want to get at the heart of what truly makes me happy, not simply what satisfies. My hope is that by understanding it I can increase it. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but the purpose of this post is to convey what I’ve learned thus far and gain more insight through discussion.

Why is she so happy?

Recently a friend of mine would update her status on Facebook nearly every day in words that expressed excitement and appreciation for life. It peaked my interest. My first instinct was to write it off as lunacy or purposeful denial of reality. I felt fairly confident that I knew enough about her life’s circumstances to judge that there was certainly nothing of extraordinary awesomeness happening; at least, nothing to warrant such jubilation. Still, the simple question “why?” kept nagging me.
As I chewed the cud of that matter, another friend wrote something that hit me like a ton of bricks:

“[There's] a line from Say Anything when John Cusack asks his sister why she can’t just decide to be happy and then be happy. That line has always stuck with me because many times (not all) that’s all we need to do, just decide that this is the way things are going to be and once you accept that as a fact instead of an option things get that much simpler.”
- Andy Whitlock

Something clicked in my head, and I finally understood: happiness is not a gift – it’s a decision.

"happiness is not a gift - it’s a decision."

What I’ve Learned So Far

Deciding to be happy is more than having a wistful and fleeing flirtation with the concept in your mind and then going about your business. It is determining that you actually want to be happy and then resolving that you will do what it takes to get there. Just like any other journey, the trip will be shorter if you plan ahead and know your route.

The first thing to do is find what makes you happy. The trick is to not get hung up on the externalities, that which you have no control over. Instead, focus on that which you DO that makes you happy. Does reading a good book make you happy? What exactly about it makes you happy?  Is it the learning? Is it the accomplishment of finishing something? Give this some serious thought and you’ll start to find common threads. These are your principals of happiness.

The next logical step is to do the things that make you happy. If you find that helping others fix their problems really brings you joy than look for ways to do that. Your happiness will increase exponentially the more you do those things.

The steps to happiness

Why Everyone’s Not Doing It

There are two things which I’ve noticed humans consistently try to avoid: work and sacrifice. I will let you know right now that doing this takes work. You will face discouragement and the constant temptation to take the easy way out and resume passivity. Don’t give in. It is a deceptive and destructive lie that anyone got anywhere or achieved anything without work.

The thing about growth is that it’s synonymous with change. True change rarely comes without sacrifice. You will have to give up certain habits to be happy. You will have to make decisions between doing something you know will bring happiness, and something you’re accustomed to. Realize now that the sacrifice is worth it.

Relationship between growth and happiness

So, what is it that makes you happy?
Are you going to do it?